manifesto

I’m not going to mourn anymore. I’m throwing away my Kleenex, kicking off my black shoes, and burning my church dress. I’m uncovering the mirrors and throwing open the windows so everyone can hear me shout: This life must be vibrant. This life must be orange mango melon tangerine and lemon, clear as crystal vases, bubblegum pink, shiny, wet, wild, and fabulous. I am not worthless because I don’t wear a size six and never have. I have curves and ripples, dimples and valleys and I am not going to eat one more celery stick to make some doctor happy. I’m going to move around at my own speed. I’m taking myself dancing and I’m going to groove across the floor like a ballroom champion ballerina twirling jazz hip hop tap dancing maniac. I’m not going to wear shirts that hide my belly. I’m not going to cringe every time I pass my profile in a mirror. I’m going to see myself for my beauty, for the color and design of my tattoos, for the curl of my hair, the sparkle and shine of my earrings, the broadness of my shoulders and the width of my hips. I am big and solid and I can move mountains. I will kick ass and take names if you cross me. Don’t think I won’t die defending everything I was, am, and will become. This body and mind have gone through hell and come back to tell the tale of fire, brimstone, and the sharpest bloody point on Satan’s forked tail. I am Goddess-infused, refreshing as Gatorade, a triple threat because I can take you down with my words, a look, and a Scorpio sting, all at once. I can be your girl in pinks and sweet, adorable and shy, soft-spoken and non-threatening, but believe me when I say I have the power of recovery on my side. I’m coming out of the shell I built from hard-edged venom and self-loathing. I’m kicking away that home and heading for the freedom and mystery of the ocean. I’m taking out the tide, building sandcastles without tools, and letting everyone know that I am changing and I am not changing back. This is my creed, my manifesto, and you better believe every word because I am done treating myself like shit.